in the New Year early morning daybook

Outside My Window: dark and cold, it's about -1C out there and finally the rain has stopped. A lover of rain, even *I* have been ready for clear skies as we've spent days in the latest West Coast storm. Other people got snow from this system, but not our southern tip of the Island.....rain, rain and more rain!

I am Listening to: mostly silence. G is awake and drawing, the coffee maker has just stopped perking and everyone else is sleeping. I haven't had a lot of silence in the past few weeks and I've needed this morning.

I am Wearing: Robe (see first heading) and PJs. Warm socks.

I am so Grateful for: Life and family. One of C's friends from school~ a family who recently moved just down the road from us and who Steve knew growing up at the same school~ had a terrible tragedy happen this week. C's friend's Mum (and Steve's friend from school) died of a heart attack at the age of 39. It's been a real shock and something none of us was prepared for. We've spent a lot of this week praying for this family, hugging our kids and making sure we say goodnight and goodbye every day. I don't think you really sppreciate how something like this can change your whole perspective on life until it happens.

I'm thinking about: my word of the year. I've never had one before even though I tried really hard. This year, we had a busy Advent season and during this time the Lord impressed on me that my word for 2011 was "Present".

 Be present. Be in the moment.

I worry a lot (like, a LOT!!) and I'm always thinking 20 steps ahead. Part of this is personality, part is dealing with up to now two very active toddlers ( first C and now F) with whom you *have* to be 20 steps ahead.  So often though, I'm listening with half an ear, focused on something outside of the situation I'm in. I find church and social events a blur as I"m thinking about other stuff and trying to stay with my climbing, running, jumping Fiona. I get frustrated and resentful and I feel like the Lord is encouraging me to slow down, enjoy this moment....look at my life with eyes wide open and take it all in. SEE it instead of just allowing it to blur all out of focus.

So I'm starting the New Year with a new focus. When my kids are awake (particularly Fiona or once the day has begun), I try to be off the computer and away from my lists as much as possible. I'm trying to focus on them and not do 20 things at once. When I clean, we clean together or I set them up with an activity and then start, encouraging them to join in. And, I'm trying to let me mind be focused on what's happening now. I'll block in some time to do some forward planning~ and I try and surf to collect ideas and read blogs/Facebook when the kids are asleep.

There are downsides to this of course.....Fiona's sleeping schedule being one of them. However, I know the best thing about being present is the reward of enjoying this time with my children and just enjoying life.

Steve and I were talking in the days after New Years as we returned the house to normal and scarily, he also had been impressed with the very same idea. Enjoy life now.....stop worrying about the future, wishing the kids were a little older, house was less cluttered etc. Be Present.

Please pray for me as I try and Be Present with my family~ to enjoy what is happening and create a fun, happy life at home for my children. I so want them to remember a childhood full of moments with Mama, not a Mum who was constantly on the computer or distracted by other things.

I am Reading: Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenreider. So good so far and Steve is reading it too. I think we'll try her 10 day plan for organizing....this is all to the good because (see below)

I am Creating: boards with flooring/carpet and lino samples on them. Our laminate floors are just about done, the carpet on the stairs and in our bedrooms is really showing signs of wear (who chose that colour anyway??...oh yeah, We did.) and the lino in the bathroom is also stained (thank you food colouring). we have one big house project a year and this year it will be redoing the flooring in our upstairs. (2 bedrooms, bathroom, hallway and great room). It will be at least a 3 day install which will be nasty but hopefully Fiona and I will be OK. (She's terrified of loud noises so she'll be strssed out but thankfully we'll have the downstairs to live in.) I've got a lot to pack up and move though as the rooms will have to be empty as they transition from one area to another. I'm starting to pack away some of our heavy stuff into boxes now, we probably won't have work going on for another  few weeks.

Organizing: see above.

Children and Fish: doing fine. Crispin has been quite subdued this week as he thinks about his friend H. Greg was happy to get back to school and just happy in general. Fiona was well Fiona. Loud, active, running everywhere and a bit grumpy as she adjusted to the transition back to school and no brothers home all day every day. Fish are happy. Blowing bubble nests and flaring their fins all the time. Love the look of a happy betta :)
From the Kitchen: granola and lots of Mexican food. (don't ask how those go hand in hand....I don't know either)

Favorite Thing today: a little morning quiet and this picture from Christmastime. An unintended user of Jessa's new coat.

See you soon! Apologies for the extra long post!